Attracted to my brother who’ve I’ve just met as an adult – serious answers only please?
We’re both in our 30′s and met for the first time last week. I’m not imagining that it was electric between us, and we’re clearly both attracted to each other. I’ve read that this is very common, but not how to handle it! How do we put these feelings into the right boxes? Neither of us are the sort to cheat on our partners, let alone with a sibling, but if these feelings aren’t dealt with we’ve ruined our relationship before it’s begun and I want to know my brother! Any advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation?
There is no intention to sleep together – we just want advice on how to make this in to a normal sibling relationship, without having to avoid each other etc.
Acknowledge the reality that you are a female. You were built to be attracted to males. Your brother is a male. This is a natural response. Your body doesn’t know whether it’s a socially unacceptable one. Be happy that your wiring still works. Now, remember you also have a brain, and it does know whether an attraction is a socially acceptable one. There are some really hot sixteen year old boys around, too, but you wouldn’t make the moves on one of them, I hope. You have self control, so use it. Be proud of your brother, that he has turned out so well. And, keep your hands to yourself.
Then, be responsible. Avoid situations where your self control might be more likely to slip, such as talking when you are very tired, or under the influence of alcohol. If he ever slips up, help him by gently steering him back to the straight an narrow, and then let it go. You’ve acknowledged the attraction is there, so don’t be shocked if you glimpse it now and then. Just don’t encourage it and don’t act on it. Limit the amount of time you spend alone together, and try to limit situations where you appear in less clothing, like appearing in swimsuits or nightwear. In fact, it’s not a bad idea to dress a bit more conservatively when you’re around him. It helps. Just remember that one thing leads to another, and try to keep “one thing” from happening in the first place.
Monitor your self-talk. When you refer to your brother, even in your mind, you should always think of him as a brother and off limits. Think, “My brother is a terrific fellow, and the girl who gets him will be lucky. I am proud to have such a great brother.” Keep thinking, “Brother. Brother. Brother.”
In time, you will get some chance to get to know him better. You’ll see him act like a total idiot a few times, and catch him picking his nose, and some of the new will wear off and it will get a lot easier. Until then, mind your P’s and Q’s and don’t tempt fate.
Best Wishes and Good Luck.
Electric-Box: Level 14 Solution